Let me get one thing absolutely clear. I believe God is good. Like, really good. Yummy good. Delicious good. Maybe that’s why the Bible says, “Oh, taste and see that Yahweh is good” (Psalm 34:8).
I don’t know how you are, but when I taste something really good, I have a deeply satisfying physiological response to it, and when I taste something exceptional I am transported into emotional raptures. After all, I am a very highly sensitive person.
No less with God. You see, I’ve tasted God, and I’m here to tell you that God is so deliciously, magnificently yummy that no words in the world can do Him justice. I would have to call Him the most Beautiful Taste in the world.
Head God vs. Heart God
Sadly, for much of my life, I suffered from the phenomena of two Gods. I had the heart God and I had the head God. The heart God I’ve known since I was a small child when I could feel a beautiful Presence Who loved me and with Whom my heart was safe.
Then there was the head God they taught about in church. He was an impassive God, void of warm emotion, who disapproved of my deep emotions. Actually, He disapproved of most everything.
Although my heart longed to believe God was that lovely Presence I sensed from my heart, my heart lacked credibility in the world in which I grew up. I was taught that heads always trumped hearts, and so I doubted and lived in the confusion of having two Gods: the harsh God that I knew theologically and the beautiful God that I experienced emotionally.
As I’ve talked with many people since then, I find this is a common experience for a highly sensitive Christian in a cognitively-based church.
It All Changed For Me
In 2001, I had an overt visitation from the Holy Spirit that lasted for six weeks. It was an amazing experience outside my familiar reality. It was that same Presence, only richer and fuller and deeper and clearer and far more intense than the Presence I had previously felt outside of church.
I would never have recognized this Presence from what I had been taught at church all my life (He was too kind and not at all demanding), but when He desired to celebrate the living Jesus with me and then asked to lead me in communion to remember the suffering and death of Jesus, I came to understand this was truly the Holy Spirit of the Most High God.
And what a shock He was. How such a lighthearted, happy Being could be the Spirit of the God of the Bible was beyond my comprehension, until the Holy Spirit opened my understanding and let me see this highly emotional, good God described throughout the Bible.
Let me tell you about this One Who visited me those weeks in such intense clarity.
Let Me Describe What He Was Not
I’ll start by listing what wasn’t there with this One. There was no arrogance, harshness, expectation, agenda, control, manipulation, disapproval, nagging, impatience, distancing, judgment, demands, or finger-pointing. As the highly sensitive person especially finds these responses damaging, it was a great relief to find a total absence of them in the character of the Holy Spirit.
And Now the Good News
Instead, what struck me were the intense, pure, and beautiful emotions of this Presence. How lovely were His thoughts and intentions. Lacing throughout everything in this One was a lighthearted, happy, peaceful, warm love that was patient, attentive, fluid, and kind. So playful and light of heart. Absolute, emotionally snugly beauty.
I learned that in His eyes I was beautiful and beloved and dearly treasured. And He revealed God the Father to me as my strong, gentle, trustworthy, pure, and good-natured Papa God who is always in the best of moods in His interactions with me. The Holy Spirit taught me that because of Jesus, God receives me warmly no matter what state or mood I’m in. I’ve learned that He is the One Safe Place in all the known universe where I can relax. With Him I’m known thoroughly, accepted completely and loved warmly.
Everything I’ve learned about God is good news, especially for the sensitive Christian who is more attuned to nuances of emotion. Everything I will ever write in this site is based upon the foundational experiences I’ve had of the taste of the goodness of God. Everything I believe and everything I live hinges on His scrumptious goodness. It is my primary assumption underlying everything.
Bon Appetit!
As you continue your unique spiritual journey, I wish you your own version of spiritual Bon Appetit! And if you’re like many highly sensitive people, that can get quite experientially tasty indeed.
Blessings!
Gail Ruth
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You wrote: “Instead, what struck me were the intense, pure, and beautiful emotions of this Presence.”
The Holy Spirit started to teach me this truth around 1978! after I had an “encounter” with Him. One day I heard him say “trust your feelings”….so I have been studying and trying to understand this for years and been met with so much abuse from Christians and non Christians that I started to give up last week. Did a lot of crying and pleading with God to help me. Couple of nights ago I decided to type in “trust your feelings as a Christian” on Google and found you. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HEARD ANOTHER CHRISTIAN WHO HAS LEARNED THE SAME TRUTH!
Thank you so much Gail for starting this website! I look forward to whatever you have to say!
mary
You put it so well! All I can add at this point is that He is my best Friend and Teacher, my counsel and comfort. But I think most of all He is the One who ACCEPTS me just as I am, even though I don’t know all of me He has accepted! And when I do finally have some of the stuff in my heart revealed, my estimation of who He is just gets bigger to accomodate how He could still love me, even so! Thank you for allowing your readers to take this journey with you!
Dear Gail, i found it amazing that you said you would pray for me; across the atlantic ocean!…I feel very touched by your kindness, My feeling about ‘GOD’ is overwhelmingly awful, so I meditate and have discovered the world community for christian meditation which is also very helpfull. I am drawn by your gentle encouragement and want to say thank you.
What you describe sounds absolutely wonderful. I hope I can come to experience God as you have. I can totally relate to feeling damaged by my experience of church and religious life. I recently discovered a book called ‘God of Surprises’ by a priest called Gerard Hughes. It’s a great resource for anyone who wants to break free from the bonds of religion and truly come to know God, the God of compassion. Thanks for your site. It’s been a great find and I’ll revisit it often.