I like to glean from teachers in various streams of Christianity. One of the teachers I drop in on now and then is Arthur Burk, a student of the scriptures who leads a Christian think tank in California. One of his passions is helping people heal and grow into their God-created design. He just wrote an exceptionally life-giving article that I am reposting here.

Some of you are going to find healing in his words.

Blessings,
Gail Ruth

Redeeming Scheming by Arthur Burk

I have a friend who grew up playing the trumpet with skill and uncommon flair. By the time she was an adult, she was winning first and second place trophies in statewide competitions.

It wasn’t just about competition. She loved her trumpet and expressed herself through her music.

When she got saved, someone told her that if she really loved God she would give up her trumpet playing and offer it as a sacrifice to God.

So . . . she did. She got a doctorate in music and became the director of a church choir – until she got tired of the lack of fulfillment.

I have another friend who is the son of two artists. All of his growing up days, he planned to go to the finest school for his particular niche of art and spend his life doing what he loved doing.

When he got saved, someone told him that if he really loved God he would lay down his art and offer it as a sacrifice to God.

So . . . he did. He got a job as a youth leader at the church and went to Bible school to prepare for being in full time Christian ministry – until he got tired of the lack of fulfillment and left the ministry to go to art school.

Is this the God of the Bible? God the kill joy? God who designs us then won’t let us be us? God whose greatest gratification comes from our greatest pain? God who only accepts church work from us?

I fully understand that there are many things that we can love more than God, and this can become a problem. I know that God at times, out of His infinite love, will break our toys if we won’t give them up, in order to draw our hearts to Him.

But all of that overlooks the end of the story. As soon as God has our hearts, it is His delight to give us back the things we were designed (by Him) to do and be.

I love the story of Naomi. She appears to have been a wheeler dealer. A schemer. She had an angle on everything. The evidence is that her controlling ways were an obstacle to her relationship with God.

Because her scheming was a problem, God allowed her to crash and burn in Moab. When she made it back to Bethlehem, she was pretty contrite. She had come to the wrong conclusion.

She thought God was mad at her and that is why He bankrupted her, stripping her of capital leaving her powerless to leverage much of anything.

I take a very different view of things. I see a God who designed her to be a deal maker, to see the available options when others don’t see them and to weave together a stream of variables into a finished product.

I believe God thoroughly enjoyed watching her be herself – because that is what He made her to do.

He set her up in her home town with Ruth as a player in the scenario. Naomi appears to be too broken in health to glean in the fields, but Ruth was willing and able. However, Ruth did not know the Mosaic Law which said such gleaning was permissible to widows and the poor.

Guess who did? Yup. Naomi. So with no financial capital, Naomi leveraged the three things she had: the time of year (harvest time), a willing daughter-in-law and her knowledge of the culture and the Law.

God stepped in and breathed on Naomi’s fragile venture by placing Ruth in the right field to be seen by Boaz. That little bit of help from God was all Naomi needed. She was off and running and worked the deal all the way to the wedding and the grandkids.

God smiled as He watched Naomi being herself.

Can you see that He did not just redeem her? He redeemed her scheming. She was made to see opportunities others didn’t. Granted her pursuit of deals did lead her away from God for awhile. The redemption of her heart began when she went back home where God had placed her. But her redemption was not complete until her design was validated.

Let me press this point. God did not need her involvement. Allow me to rewrite the story of Ruth.

Naomi and Ruth arrive in town. Ruth goes to the store at the same time Boaz does (due to God’s control of timing). He sees Ruth, it is love at first sight, and off they go to make history. So easy for God.

I am convinced God took the long route so He could redeem Naomi’s scheming.

Did my two friends need to give up their trumpet and art? Possibly, if those things were defiantly held as obstacles to obeying God. But that is not the way I heard the story. The advice they got was preventative crushing, just to be sure that nothing they loved could possibly diminish their spiritual walk.

I don’t get it. God made a happy place for Adam and Eve. He is going to make a happy place for His people in the Millennial Kingdom. He is looking forward to some real happy people in heaven.

Who started this goofy theology that experiencing fulfillment by doing what God designed us to do was a sure fire way to ruin our relationship with Him? That is just plain weird, twisted, bizarre . . .

Arthur Burk
March 30, 2011

Arthur Burk Arthur Burk, Sapphire Leadership Group: http://www.theslg.com
Noble Subjects Blog: http://noblesubjects.com

We have a magnificent and unfathomable God who is wrapped in impenetrable mystery.

As believers, we are called to have a love relationship with this infinite God, and that can be a tad daunting if we don’t understand how loving and good He is.

The good news is that Jesus, who came from His Father, revealed an inside look at Father God’s heart throughout His earthly ministry. And it’s a lovely picture He painted for us.

Jesus Reveals the Father

When Jesus’ disciples asked Him to show them the Father, Jesus answered, “If you have seen Me, you have seen the Father” (John 14:9).

Through Jesus, we too can see the Father as He truly is.

The revelation of the Father through Jesus has far more clarity than any previous revelation we have of Him in scripture (Luke 10:22).

Jesus clearly revealed to us what was previously cloaked in mystery. Jesus Himself said that “no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him” (Matthew 11:27).

“If You Have Seen Me…”

Since Jesus said that seeing Him was the same as seeing the Father, let’s look at Jesus to see who the Father is.

Jesus spoke of Himself as gentle and humble of heart (Matthew 11:29). In addition, scripture refers to Him as filled with “exultant joy and gladness” (Hebrews 1:9, Amplified Bible). He must have been loads of fun to be around. The common people were drawn to Him. And He happily associated with the most disreputable of society. He was called a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19).

The tone of Jesus’ speech is revealed in Luke 4:18 when Jesus announced His mission from the pages of the Old Testament prophet Isaiah. He spoke of “preaching the gospel to the poor”. “Preaching the gospel” is a single word in the Greek, and is the same word that was used when the angels brought the “tidings of great joy” at Christ’s birth (Luke 2:10). It means to bring good news of any kind and to announce glad tidings.

Just imagine this exultantly joyful Jesus travelling around proclaiming glad tidings everywhere He went, and saying His message was from God His Father.

Jesus was completely approachable on earth, and He is still approachable today. We are told that He is our compassionate High Priest who can relate to us in our struggles (Hebrews 4:15). He is still modelling the Father to us.

Direct Teachings About the Father

Here are a few things the scriptures say regarding the Father:

• The hallmark of the Father’s character is love — pure, agape love (I John 4:8; I Corinthians 13:4-7).
• Jesus said His Father is kind even to evil and ungrateful people (Luke 6:35).
• Scripture says that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Father” (James 1:17). He is the Source of everything good.
• Scriptures explain that the Holy Spirit cries out from our hearts calling, “Daddy!”, which models the kind of relationship we are to have with the Father (Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6).

How loving and good our Father God is! And Jesus, the only procreated offspring of His Father, told us we have the right to call His Father our Father. What a blessing!

My Blessing To You

May the revelation of Jesus further open your eyes and your heart to Father God. I bless your pursuit of a heart-based love relationship with your unfathomable heavenly Daddy.

Be blessed.
Gail Ruth

If you’re a Christian who is highly sensitive or highly sensitive-gifted, you most likely have pains and struggles related to your sensitivity that aren’t addressed at church. In fact for many of you, church might sometimes even stir up some of these pains and struggles.

The difficulty lies in that while the “not-sensitive” half of the world needs to be regularly challenged and stirred up, the highly sensitive person typically thrives in an atmosphere of unpressured peace, where their inner passions and innate inner drive can rise to the surface and propel them forward.

The good news is that God Himself is wooing His highly sensitive ones into a relaxed, heart-based relationship with Him through Jesus, the Prince of Peace. This is what He has done with me, and this is what I share with you.

• I’m on Facebook now and posting regularly. Come “like” my page and interact with me there!

• If you want to know what I believe and who I am, read about me.

• If you want to capture the foundational concepts here in the quickest way, read the Essentials posts.

• If you want to access free, in-depth and exclusive resources, sign up to the right for The Highly Sensitive Christian Newsletter. Details here. The newsletter comes irregularly 1 to 3 times a month.

• Please leave comments* and interact with me and the other readers through the comments section below each post. Please use email to share private details. I read everything and respond erratically as able.

Above all, be blessed!

Gail Ruth

*TIP FOR BLOG NEWBIES: While some people like using their real name online, others prefer anonymity. For you latter, when leaving comments, feel free to choose a creative name and avoid any identifying information in your comment. And please bless us with your thoughts.

Is it sad that a gazelle does not fly?
Or that a sparrow is not fleet of foot?
Shall I grieve for the squirrel that does not swim to the depths?
For the otter that does not play in the treetops?
Or shall I simply marvel at the astounding creation around me,
Celebrating a spectrum of life whose experiences I will never be able to comprehend?

Making Peace With Yourself

Many of us are on a journey of discovering our uniqueness, growing into an acceptance of who we are, and learning to adapt our lives and expectations accordingly. And it’s so easy to think the goals of this journey are to embrace who we are, build a life suited for our type, live out our relaxed, loving relationship with God, and accomplish good work on this earth.

But we can do all that and still live in a haunted state of alienation and disconnection. And that hurts our hearts terribly.

I believe we will never be able to truly make deep peace with ourselves if it is only about us and our kind.

The Goal of the Uniqueness Journey

The end purpose of growing into who we were created to be is not to simply make peace with who we are, but

• to intertwine our life with certain safe others who are vastly different from us,
• to accept them in their unfathomable foreignness,
• to consider them with honor and harmony,
• and to grow in peace with them as much as is up to us.

We highly sensitive people profoundly need less sensitive people in our lives. And those less sensitive people profoundly need us. But neither of us ever need to look or function like the other.

But It’s Really Hard

Honoring someone in their differences sounds like an inspiring, reasonable thought. But it’s much harder to put into practice than it sounds. Much harder.

The sad fact is when we human beings look at other people who are different from us, we tend to see defect, not difference. And we rarely recognize their treasure.

The truth is it’s far easier to see flaw than treasure.

Why It’s So Hard

Let me explain one reason for this. As human beings, we don’t often truly experience what it’s like to be anybody but ourselves. Some of us get glimpses, but others get none. And because our own lives are all we’ve ever experientially known, we don’t tend to comprehend that what we do so naturally and effortlessly is a strength, and that that strength is a gift.

Instead, we see our strengths as Normal Human Default Mode. In fact, the easier something is for us, the more likely we are to see it as “just something people do”, with “people” meaning everybody, and “do” implying expectation.

And so we measure people by whether they properly measure up to what we believe is Normal Human Default Mode. And approve and disapprove accordingly.

Those who are fundamentally different from us fail to share our default settings. And we tend to see such lack in an unflattering light, whether we call it unenlightenment, immaturity, character flaw, defect, failure, stubbornness, rebellion, or whatever.

One Man’s Story

I once spoke with a highly sensitive, creative man who had a great drive to develop his human potential and what he called his “spirituality”. He was broken-hearted that his wife wasn’t pursuing her own spiritual potential. She just liked to do stuff. As he described her, I recognized an extroverted “doer” kind of person. She was highly social, had lots of friends, liked being out, was not happy spending much time alone — basically the total opposite to him.

He explained how she had failed to respond to his efforts to help her grow spiritually. He interpreted her behaviors as total failure to be in Normal Human Default Mode. And he determined his marriage was in great trouble, and that she was the source of that trouble. He had persisted in the marriage because he has been convinced that ultimately she would change into the person he knew she should be.

When I met him, he was in great crisis because he had begun to fear she might never change. And to him, that meant the marriage was over.

My heart grieved as I listened to his fixed belief that there was only one acceptable way to be in this world, and that the only hope for relationship with his wife was if she measured up to his default mode.

An Treasure-Seeking Alternative

I would like to suggest that when we look at someone who fails to function in our default mode, we develop a different mindset.

When faced with the absence of a familiar, comfortable behavior in someone else, we can search out the less familiar treasure God has put into them.

So in this man’s situation, he could have said, “Well, my wife doesn’t have my spiritual appetite. If somehow (unbelievably) she wasn’t designed to have that appetite (could it even be possible?), what does she have that could be called a strength?”

And if he had eyes to see, he would have at least seen a loving, connected heart and a woman who served him by holding down most of the household chores, allowing him to retreat into his creative work undisturbed. And he could have blessed those things in her and built a relationship with her that made light of their differences and honored their opposite strengths.

What the Process Entails

So the next time someone violates your belief of how people are supposed to function, ask yourself, “If they don’t have that behavior, what good thing is present?” And go on a treasure hunt. And in so doing you will counterintuitively be making progress toward making peace with yourself.

You may need to ask Jesus to give you His eyes, because it can be quite the process to humbly learn to value what God considers the treasure in someone else.

As you practice this, I can’t promise anyone will receive your gift of honor. And unfortunately you really can’t expect a particular person to reciprocate your treasure-seeking eyes, so please don’t cast your precious self in front someone who is not able to value you.

It’s not about changing the way the world sees each other, or even about how the world sees us. It’s about a shift in our own hearts that will change how we see and value other people. And in the process, usher in a greater healing into our own hearts that just might be contagious.

Blessings,
Gail Ruth

A Look at the Scriptures

Romans 14:4
Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

I Corinthians 12:14-26
For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have not need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.

A few years ago I was exposed to one of those books that calls Christians to deal with their “soul issues” and inner flaws. So in response, I was doing that old familiar harsh introspective gazing at all I felt was unacceptable in me and trying to drag it all before Jesus.

I had piles of stuff.

While I was struggling through this process, the Holy Spirit clearly asked, “What are you doing?” I replied that I didn’t want these issues to hold me back or sabotage me. He answered, “Well, if you want to torment your way into sanctification, I suppose you can try.”

And I suddenly realized how counterproductive all this was for someone with my temperament.

He then asked gently, “Am I not faithful? Have I not been faithful enough for you to relax with Me? To just trust Me and walk with Me?”

A Big, Obscure Bible Word

Sanctification is basically the process where the followers of Jesus are being ever increasingly transformed into the image and nature of Jesus Christ. It involves a slow process of growing and maturing, being purified, and being made harmonious with the Kingdom and nature of God.

As we are sanctified:

• we are increasingly free to walk harmoniously with the Holy Spirit
• we experience greater peace and joy
• we behave with greater love, patience, and kindness toward other people
• we increasingly see our circumstances through the eyes of faith
• we endure suffering and injustice with greater patience
• we produce more fruit

It is not our job to sanctify ourselves. Although we are called to respond to God as He works in our lives, we are inherently incapable of truly sanctifying ourselves.¹

It is something only God can do for and in us. In fact, one of the identifying names God uses for Himself is “I Am YHWH Who Sanctifies You”.

His Process of Sanctifying Us is Truly Beautiful

I don’t speak for the other 80-some percent of the world, but with highly sensitive people, the Holy Spirit Himself escorts us into and through the most lovely seasons of cleansing. When He does, He is very specific, very effective, and very kind. And it feels so good to get free.

With us highly sensitive types, the Holy Spirit’s way is to address our stuff in manageable, bite-size pieces. One very specific bite at a time.

AND the tiny bites are all sweetened with His warm, loving regard and kind patience.² It’s like Mary Poppins where “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down… in a most delightful way”.

“Delightful” is a fitting word for this relational process that is so life-giving and transforming. What I love most is how the Holy Spirit keeps our attention riveted on how wonderful Jesus is, not on how messed up we are.³

The Demoralizing Alternative

To the contrary, the cleansing/transforming process people want us to engage in is, for us, exhausting and demoralizing. It sends highly sensitive people into introspective navel-gazing looking at all the condemning, overwhelming issues we fruitlessly struggle with.

It results in feelings of insecurity and shame. And it leaves us trying to behaviorally juggle all the right behaviors we now feel responsible for.

As highly sensitive believers, anything that yanks us out of our secure relationship with God and makes us stare at our behaviors, defects, and soul issues is a bad trade.

Looking at Jesus Loving Us

The fact is that we all have enough flaws and soul issues to keep our eyes busy for the rest of our lives. But as highly sensitive believers, our eyes are better off looking at Jesus loving us.

We are free to do this because His death on the cross covers our mess⁴ and gives us unearned entry into a relationship of peace with God.⁵ And once in that relationship, God is faithful and has promised to take responsibility to complete the work He began in us.⁶

All we as highly sensitive people really have to do is responsively go along for the loving, relational ride.

Happy New Year.

Blessings,
Gail Ruth

¹ See “A Deeper Look” below
² Romans 2:4
³ 2 Corinthians 3:18
⁴ Romans 4:25
⁵ Romans 5:1
⁶ Philippians 1:6

A Deeper Look

For those readers who want to explore this further in scripture:

There are mysteries in scripture that allude to a connection between rest, being cleansed/transformed/sanctified, and the inherent nature of God.⁷

Early in Judaism

In the Old Testament, sanctification is linked simultaneously to the concept of Sabbath (rest) and to one of the redemptive names of God: YHWY Qadash⁸ – translated YHWH Who Sanctifies You.

This assures us that through the simple process of being in relaxed, responsive, loving relationship with Him, His nature slowly transforms us and makes us more like Him.⁹

Jesus’ Own Words

In John 15:1-11, when Jesus painted a picture of how we are to be spiritually healthy and growing, He used the image of a grapevine in a vineyard. He says He Himself is the vine (roots, trunk), His Father is the vinedresser, and we simply are branches growing out of the vine.

Jesus so clearly portrays here a place of relaxed rest. A branch does not strive to grow or produce fruit. All a branch does is stay connected to the vine and receive the care of the vinedresser. This imagery is both restful and relational.

Letters to the Early Church

In Hebrews 4:11-16, three concepts that are often presented as separate teachings are all sequentially connected.

• First the call to enter into God’s rest.
• Second, the promise that the living Word of God (don’t just think “Bible” here; also consider John 1:1 – Jesus Himself) is active and will effectively touch the deepest and most hidden things in us.
• And third, that Jesus is our compassionate high priest, and we can go boldly to His throne of grace.

In other words, we can be slowly transformed and sanctified by entering into a rest relationship with God through Jesus because the living, active Word of God will go deeply and personally into each of us who are in such a relationship.

And when this process exposes a problem, we can confidently draw near to Jesus, who sympathizes with our weaknesses, and receive grace and mercy from Him.

And do remember that it is the kindness and goodness of God (His grace and mercy) that causes us to change how we think and behave.¹⁰

For further study: Galatians 3, Romans 3-5.

⁷ Exodus 31:13, Ezekiel 20:12, Hebrews 3-4
⁸ Exodus 31:13
⁹ Romans 8:29, I Corinthians 15:49, 2 Corinthians 3:18
¹⁰ Philippians 1:6

NOTE: Dec. 1. Due to technical problems with the original file format of the slideshow, I have converted it to a downloadable pdf file.

Many highly sensitive persons find going to the doctor to be far more stressful than they think it should be. And most find medical procedures and hospitalizations to be completely overwhelming. They often think it’s just them, but it actually has to do with their trait of high sensitivity.

As part of  renewing my nursing license, I’ve put together a slide presentation called Health, Healthcare, & the Highly Sensitive Person: Issues & Solutions – for patients, families, & providers. It’s something you might share with your medical provider.

It introduces the trait of high sensitivity, discusses some special health needs of highly sensitive people, and closes with advice for both healthcare providers and patients.

Some of the information comes from Dr. Elaine Aron’s research and teaching, and other comes from my many years in the healthcare arena.

Click on the link or the graphic above to download the pdf. Feel free to share it with your healthcare providers, family members, and other highly sensitive people you know.

(File size is 4.1 MB. It may take a few moments to load. Last edit and upload 12/2/10, 8:30pm PST.)

May you find especially kind and respectful providers!

Blessings!
Gail Ruth

I have been in a season of personal transition. As I don’t seem to be the only one going through such a time, I thought I’d share a few of my encouraging and grounding insights on transition, as well as on the growth that can occur during transitional times.

The Hidden Process of Growth

As much as we would like it to be otherwise, we usually can’t see growth happening in the moment. It happens too slowly and the process is too hidden. And that can make it easy to feel discouraged with ourselves.

So sometimes when it feels like we’re stuck in some empty, meaningless season of transition, we might actually be growing steadily, yet unaware of it. And only later might we look back and comprehend with relief our difficult season resulted in some wonderful, yet unanticipated, transformation.

Doors and Hallways

Most of us have heard the encouraging adage, “When God closes a door, He opens another.” But like Kris Vallotton points out, in real life that new door is often a lo-o-o-o-ng way down the hall.

That long hall experience is an especially difficult type of transition, one in which most of us are conscious only of our “between-doors” discomfort, oblivious to any shifting taking place deep inside our hearts.

It can so help to understand that transitional hallway journeys are important seasons of our life and are fodder for the Holy Spirit to work His transformation in our hearts and lives.

Practicing Our Faith

Best of all, it’s at such times we have an opportunity to practice our faith in our very good God:

• That our Good Shepherd is and will continue to be calmly and kindly gentle with our hearts on this slow journey down this long hall, because that’s just how He is with us highly sensitive people.
• That He has some good door waiting to open for us somewhere ahead, even though we don’t have a clue what it will look like or when we will find it.
• And that He treasures our company on this journey between doors and will never leave us alone in this dark and empty hall.

God is Not in a Hurry

It’s a difficult truth, but in God’s world things move much slower than we would choose, even for a dawdler like me. I can’t imagine how much more challenging this must be for the individuals created for efficiency. But regardless, He doesn’t often seem to be in much of a hurry. His sense of time is so different from ours.

Look at Jesus. The fullness of time came and Jesus was born in Bethlehem. The angels rejoiced, making glorious promises to humanity. The season had turned. The promise had arrived. All kinds of wonderful things happened which His mother Mary hid in her heart and pondered.

But wait. Jesus didn’t do a miracle or manifest His glory for thirty years (John 2:11). Thirty whole years.

What was that thirty years about? Process. Jesus had to go through process and be made ready. During this time, he matured and increased in favor with both God and people (Luke 2:52).

Personally, I can only walk at peace with God when I relinquish my demands for an expeditious resolution, and instead focus on journeying with Him, whatever the timeline.

Transition and Beauty

I’ve long noticed that times of transition in the natural world are often times of stunning beauty. Sunrise and sunset, Spring and Autumn are all transition times, and each can be gloriously beautiful with wild, wonderful color.

On this basis, some years ago I began looking for and noting the special beauties with which God enhances my personal times of transition. And I have always found, no matter how hard the season, extra graces and unexpected blessings.

My prayer for you is that you too will find beauties in your every transition. And that those beauties will be a reminder your Good Shepherd is right there with you, even in the midst of your hallway journeying, calmly, kindly, and joyfully helping you grow.

Blessings!
Gail Ruth

Just a reminder that God loves you dearly. Yes, you. Yeah, her too, but you. You. Just like you are. There’s nothing you can do to make Him love you more or to make Him love you less. He just loves. It’s Who He Is. And you’re the target of that love.

He will never interact with you apart from His warm, loving regard. And because He created you highly sensitive, He will always interact with you in a sensitive way. He is unutterably kind and tender with His highly sensitive ones.

Why is He like this with us? Because of Jesus. Because Jesus made things right with God on our behalf. And when we partake of Jesus, we too have peace with God.

If you don’t know God like this yet, I pray you may begin your journey into this comforting relationship.

Be blessed!
Gail Ruth

I get lots of questions about what being a highly sensitive person is all about, how we are different from those who are less sensitive, and how we fit with the rest of the world.

If you wonder any of these things, this post might satisfy your curiosity. Or it just might provoke it further.

What Exactly is the Trait of High Sensitivity?

Clinical psychologist Elaine Aron, who researched, defined, and wrote about the highly sensitive person, says the clinical word for high sensitivity is “sensory-processing sensitivity”.

Essentially, if you’re a highly sensitive person, you have an especially sensitive neurological system. That’s it. Basically high sensitivity is a function of physiology. It’s how your body is wired.

What a highly sensitive neurological system does is pick up incoming stimuli in greater detail and with greater intensity than the nervous system of someone with lower sensitivity.

This incoming stimuli comes both from outside you and from inside you.

• Outer sources include the environment, various energies, and people around you.
• Inner sources are your own thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.

That’s It?

Well, there is more to the story. The rest of the story covers:

• The benefits and limitations of that physiological makeup.
• How those benefits and limitations play out in your life.
• How you and people at the opposite end of the sensitivity spectrum are entirely alien to each other.

In fact, there’s a whole book of “more”. Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person, is an excellent primer on this subject. Personally, I find three chapters particularly valuable. In the first two chapters of the book she explains in detail what high sensitivity is all about. In a later chapter she addresses the kind of health issues we tend to have, and our often problematic relationships with the healthcare system and medications.

If after reading this post you still wonder if you’re truly highly sensitive, take Elaine’s insightful highly sensitive person quiz on her website. It’s filled with concrete characteristics associated with high sensitivity and will help you wrap your brain around your uniqueness. She also has a test to help you get a sense of whether your child might be highly sensitive.

The Scope of Sensitivity

The research on sensitivity reveals an entire spectrum of sensitivity – at the one end high sensitivity, at the other those who are “not at all” sensitive.

A significant percentage of people are highly sensitive: about 15-20%. That’s one out of about every 5 to 7 people. Another 20-25% or so are moderately sensitive. At the other end of the spectrum, almost half of the population is not sensitive to some degree.

What’s so interesting to me is that men are as likely to be highly sensitive as women. AND the percentages hold across cultures and throughout the animal kingdom, from mammals down to the tiny fruit fly.

Hm, I Sense a Pattern Here…

We live in a world laced with dissonance, and because of that I don’t believe the widespread presence of a trait is proof that it’s a good, positive thing. But in this case the consistency of the percentages across gender, culture, species, and throughout the entire spectrum of animal life on this planet cause me to suspect that the full spectrum of physiologic sensitivity is an intentional design of the Creator. It seems to me the Creator considers the entire spectrum of sensitivity important in the larger community of life.

But few people on the planet appear to agree with Him.

It seems someone is always marginalizing either the more sensitive or the not so sensitive. Various cultures idealize different levels of sensitivity, and at the same time devalue the opposite. (Yes, surprisingly for us Westerners, some cultures actually idealize the highly sensitive temperament. Who knew?)

What We All (Sort of) Have in Common…

In coming to grips with differing levels in sensitivity, it’s absolutely critical to understand the implications of optimal levels of stimuli. This is where so many misunderstandings arise between people.

The principle is that everyone does best when they are at an optimal level of stimulation. Everyone. We all thrive at an optimal level of stirring, challenging, motivating, engaging stimulation. The consequences of being out of this optimal place are dire.

• When there’s too little stimulation, people sink into an unmotivated sludge of bored immobility.
• When there’s too much, the result is a frazzled and jangled state in which people cease to be effective or pleasant to be around.
• At an optimal level, however, people are capable of being engaged, motivated, and at least relatively pleasant and effective. This is a universal reality.

The complication here is that an optimal level is different for people with different sensitivity needs. It’s highly individualized. And any person will need different levels of stimulation at different times.

What’s important to realize here is there is no level of stimulation best for everyone. What might engage a highly sensitive person may be snoozeville for a less sensitive person. And what is a great time for a not-at-all sensitive person may be unbearable, or even traumatic, for the highly sensitive.

Aliens!

Different sensitivity levels might sound to you like simple, understandable variations between people. But in fact the results are far more dramatic than it might seem.

The sensory-processing differences between people at opposite ends of the sensitivity spectrum create experiences of the world that are so different from each other that they are functionally alien. The realities of those at the one end are virtually unfathomable to those at the other.

People like to believe they are capable of understanding another person’s experience of life, and usually try to do this based upon their own experiences and their imagination. But really, when people are this different, it just doesn’t work.

The Assets of High Sensitivity

Highly sensitive people are equipped to bring exceptional assets to the table. We have the potential to be aware of subtle nuances others are oblivious to. We are wired to be able to see things that tend to be hidden from less sensitive people. We might pick up on little clues others miss. We can be highly intuitive.

We potentially see more shades of meaning than others. We can therefore possibly have deeper and clearer insight into situations, plans, and ideas.

We also have the potential to better understand the implications of any planned strategy, and to foresee consequences of a proposed action. And so we are capable of offering great advice – potentially.

But…

The reason I liberally use the words “might”, “potentially” and such are because these inborn gifts operate well only when we are at a reasonable level of stimulation.

When we are in a state of overwhelm or over-stimulation, we tend not to be aware of anything but the sheer nerve-wracking magnitude of the incoming stimuli. Unfortunately this is a common experience for us.

Being highly sensitive means that, by definition, we are relatively easily overwhelmed by too much noise, too many people, too much time on the go, too much stress, too many demands, and too much of any other stimuli.

And we don’t function particularly well when we are experiencing overload. No one does. We just go there easier than others.

Living in the Asset Zone

When we are not in overload, the world and our personal relationships benefit greatly from the insightful, intuitive, well-considered contributions we highly sensitive people so conscientiously make. Therefore, the key here is to learn how to live in the asset zone.

Highly sensitive people typically try hard to diligently do the right thing. But sometimes we get confused about what the right thing is, especially with the less sensitive world telling us the right thing is to keep up with them.

I propose that one of our highest value priorities is to set our boundaries and sculpt our lives to care for our physical sensitivities. It is just good stewardship to live our lives in such a way that our gifts are free to flow out of us.

But many highly sensitive people don’t feel comfortable doing this, trying instead to get over the bar set by those who cannot begin to comprehend how we experience the world.

And, when we try to measure up by faithfully keeping pace with the lives and expectations of the less sensitive people in our world, all we do is we squander our gifts and hide our light under the proverbial bushel.

The True Gift

People often wonder if being highly sensitive is a Special Gift. My response is, yes, but only if being not-at-all sensitive is also a Special Gift. And every degree of sensitivity in between.

You see, I believe the true gift from God is not one particular flavor of sensitivity, but rather the entirety of the sensitivity spectrum.

It is valuable to understand our own place on the sensitivity spectrum, to make peace with it, and to sow into it. But that is not enough. To actually live out the heart of God here on planet earth, we need to honor the full spectrum of sensitivity.

Anything else – any elistism, any superiority, any lesser valuing of those who are not what we are, any presumption of being more significant or more advanced – falls short of the glory of God.

So come celebrate the full spectrum of sensitivity with me – even if much of the rest of the spectrum still rejects our particular uniqueness.

Forgiving and valuing has to start somewhere. Where better than with us who were created to see deeply and to fathom the finer nuances?

Be blessed.
Gail Ruth

Guest Post by Elissa Starks, a highly sensitive Christian.

I am coming to the realization I have been made “quirky” for a reason. I believe now that God has made us all with so much diversity. This really hit home at a visit to an aquarium.

A consummate fish nerd, I stood in awe at the 1.3 million gallon tank in front of me. It was feeding time, and I was struck by the unique feeding habits of each inhabitant of the tank.

The tuna, weighing 500 pounds or so, are the first to snatch up the food. They bulldoze over everyone (even over the sharks, which was surprising to me.) The sharks are a soft and boneless fish and could be injured or killed by these massive tuna torpedoes, so they hang out and are sometimes fed by the end of a pole. The smaller fish and sardines then eat the crumbs that fall from the huge fish.

My personal favorite was the ray who has to be fed altogether differently. She actually waits until everyone is done and goes all the way to the surface to be fed on the end of the pole.  The commentator explained that over time she has learned to watch for their feet and go to the surface. Then, in dog-like fashion, she rolls over on her back with her tummy towards the feeders and receives her food.

It was such a beautiful picture to me of the diversity and unity within the body of Christ. Same tank, same precious food… different fish. It showed me there are those in their strength that can take the food as it comes and those that need a little more personal touch.

I saw this again on a recent trip to Hawaii. Once again at the aquarium (surprise, surprise!) and this time colors were the rule of the day. There was one particular fish called the Christmas wrasse that made my jaw literally drop. It wore an array of neon colors, some of which I had not seen in such abundance since the nineteen eighties. It was stunning.

In fact, I got the impression with some of these fish that God was purposely going over the top. The more spots, squiggles, stripes and colors, the better and yet not a hint of garishness.

I came away with the distinct impression that these fish were not necessarily more interesting or valuable than the ones elsewhere in the world. They were just different and I would not want one type without the other.

To me these fish tanks are a stark reminder of what I believe God intends for the church: diversity and unity within the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:12,13). I think one of the reasons I have struggled so much over these few years – heck, over my life – is that I am more like the shark or the ray who needs a gentler touch.

I have come to the realization that some of us are just made differently and that is not a bad thing. I want to be able to swim to the depths of God and have a relationship with my Creator. I want to be able to let the tuna and other fish be themselves, and appreciate their beauty without diminishing my own.

story ©2010 by Elissa Starks. All rights reserved. Used with permission.