If you’re a Christian who is highly sensitive or highly sensitive-gifted, you most likely have pains and struggles related to your sensitivity that aren’t addressed at church. In fact for many of you, church might sometimes even stir up some of these pains and struggles.

The difficulty lies in that while the “not-sensitive” half of the world needs to be regularly challenged and stirred up, the highly sensitive person typically thrives in an atmosphere of unpressured peace, where their inner passions and innate inner drive can rise to the surface and propel them forward.

The good news is that God Himself is wooing His highly sensitive ones into a relaxed, heart-based relationship with Him through Jesus, the Prince of Peace. This is what He has done with me, and this is what I share with you.

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Above all, be blessed!

Gail Ruth

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A few years ago I was exposed to one of those books that calls Christians to deal with their “soul issues” and inner flaws. So in response, I was doing that old familiar harsh introspective gazing at all I felt was unacceptable in me and trying to drag it all before Jesus.

I had piles of stuff.

While I was struggling through this process, the Holy Spirit clearly asked, “What are you doing?” I replied that I didn’t want these issues to hold me back or sabotage me. He answered, “Well, if you want to torment your way into sanctification, I suppose you can try.”

And I suddenly realized how counterproductive all this was for someone with my temperament.

He then asked gently, “Am I not faithful? Have I not been faithful enough for you to relax with Me? To just trust Me and walk with Me?”

A Big, Obscure Bible Word

Sanctification is basically the process where the followers of Jesus are being ever increasingly transformed into the image and nature of Jesus Christ. It involves a slow process of growing and maturing, being purified, and being made harmonious with the Kingdom and nature of God.

As we are sanctified:

• we are increasingly free to walk harmoniously with the Holy Spirit
• we experience greater peace and joy
• we behave with greater love, patience, and kindness toward other people
• we increasingly see our circumstances through the eyes of faith
• we endure suffering and injustice with greater patience
• we produce more fruit

It is not our job to sanctify ourselves. Although we are called to respond to God as He works in our lives, we are inherently incapable of truly sanctifying ourselves.¹

It is something only God can do for and in us. In fact, one of the identifying names God uses for Himself is “I Am YHWH Who Sanctifies You”.

His Process of Sanctifying Us is Truly Beautiful

I don’t speak for the other 80-some percent of the world, but with highly sensitive people, the Holy Spirit Himself escorts us into and through the most lovely seasons of cleansing. When He does, He is very specific, very effective, and very kind. And it feels so good to get free.

With us highly sensitive types, the Holy Spirit’s way is to address our stuff in manageable, bite-size pieces. One very specific bite at a time.

AND the tiny bites are all sweetened with His warm, loving regard and kind patience.² It’s like Mary Poppins where “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down… in a most delightful way”.

“Delightful” is a fitting word for this relational process that is so life-giving and transforming. What I love most is how the Holy Spirit keeps our attention riveted on how wonderful Jesus is, not on how messed up we are.³

The Demoralizing Alternative

To the contrary, the cleansing/transforming process people want us to engage in is, for us, exhausting and demoralizing. It sends highly sensitive people into introspective navel-gazing looking at all the condemning, overwhelming issues we fruitlessly struggle with.

It results in feelings of insecurity and shame. And it leaves us trying to behaviorally juggle all the right behaviors we now feel responsible for.

As highly sensitive believers, anything that yanks us out of our secure relationship with God and makes us stare at our behaviors, defects, and soul issues is a bad trade.

Looking at Jesus Loving Us

The fact is that we all have enough flaws and soul issues to keep our eyes busy for the rest of our lives. But as highly sensitive believers, our eyes are better off looking at Jesus loving us.

We are free to do this because His death on the cross covers our mess⁴ and gives us unearned entry into a relationship of peace with God.⁵ And once in that relationship, God is faithful and has promised to take responsibility to complete the work He began in us.⁶

All we as highly sensitive people really have to do is responsively go along for the loving, relational ride.

Happy New Year.

Blessings,
Gail Ruth

¹ See “A Deeper Look” below
² Romans 2:4
³ 2 Corinthians 3:18
⁴ Romans 4:25
⁵ Romans 5:1
⁶ Philippians 1:6

A Deeper Look

For those readers who want to explore this further in scripture:

There are mysteries in scripture that allude to a connection between rest, being cleansed/transformed/sanctified, and the inherent nature of God.⁷

Early in Judaism

In the Old Testament, sanctification is linked simultaneously to the concept of Sabbath (rest) and to one of the redemptive names of God: YHWY Qadash⁸ – translated YHWH Who Sanctifies You.

This assures us that through the simple process of being in relaxed, responsive, loving relationship with Him, His nature slowly transforms us and makes us more like Him.⁹

Jesus’ Own Words

In John 15:1-11, when Jesus painted a picture of how we are to be spiritually healthy and growing, He used the image of a grapevine in a vineyard. He says He Himself is the vine (roots, trunk), His Father is the vinedresser, and we simply are branches growing out of the vine.

Jesus so clearly portrays here a place of relaxed rest. A branch does not strive to grow or produce fruit. All a branch does is stay connected to the vine and receive the care of the vinedresser. This imagery is both restful and relational.

Letters to the Early Church

In Hebrews 4:11-16, three concepts that are often presented as separate teachings are all sequentially connected.

• First the call to enter into God’s rest.
• Second, the promise that the living Word of God (don’t just think “Bible” here; also consider John 1:1 – Jesus Himself) is active and will effectively touch the deepest and most hidden things in us.
• And third, that Jesus is our compassionate high priest, and we can go boldly to His throne of grace.

In other words, we can be slowly transformed and sanctified by entering into a rest relationship with God through Jesus because the living, active Word of God will go deeply and personally into each of us who are in such a relationship.

And when this process exposes a problem, we can confidently draw near to Jesus, who sympathizes with our weaknesses, and receive grace and mercy from Him.

And do remember that it is the kindness and goodness of God (His grace and mercy) that causes us to change how we think and behave.¹⁰

For further study: Galatians 3, Romans 3-5.

⁷ Exodus 31:13, Ezekiel 20:12, Hebrews 3-4
⁸ Exodus 31:13
⁹ Romans 8:29, I Corinthians 15:49, 2 Corinthians 3:18
¹⁰ Philippians 1:6

NOTE: Dec. 1. Due to technical problems with the original file format of the slideshow, I have converted it to a downloadable pdf file.

Many highly sensitive persons find going to the doctor to be far more stressful than they think it should be. And most find medical procedures and hospitalizations to be completely overwhelming. They often think it’s just them, but it actually has to do with their trait of high sensitivity.

As part of  renewing my nursing license, I’ve put together a slide presentation called Health, Healthcare, & the Highly Sensitive Person: Issues & Solutions – for patients, families, & providers. It’s something you might share with your medical provider.

It introduces the trait of high sensitivity, discusses some special health needs of highly sensitive people, and closes with advice for both healthcare providers and patients.

Some of the information comes from Dr. Elaine Aron’s research and teaching, and other comes from my many years in the healthcare arena.

Click on the link or the graphic above to download the pdf. Feel free to share it with your healthcare providers, family members, and other highly sensitive people you know.

(File size is 4.1 MB. It may take a few moments to load. Last edit and upload 12/2/10, 8:30pm PST.)

May you find especially kind and respectful providers!

Blessings!
Gail Ruth

Just a reminder that God loves you dearly. Yes, you. Yeah, her too, but you. You. Just like you are. There’s nothing you can do to make Him love you more or to make Him love you less. He just loves. It’s Who He Is. And you’re the target of that love.

He will never interact with you apart from His warm, loving regard. And because He created you highly sensitive, He will always interact with you in a sensitive way. He is unutterably kind and tender with His highly sensitive ones.

Why is He like this with us? Because of Jesus. Because Jesus made things right with God on our behalf. And when we partake of Jesus, we too have peace with God.

If you don’t know God like this yet, I pray you may begin your journey into this comforting relationship.

Be blessed!
Gail Ruth

I get lots of questions about what being a highly sensitive person is all about, how we are different from those who are less sensitive, and how we fit with the rest of the world.

If you wonder any of these things, this post might satisfy your curiosity. Or it just might provoke it further.

What Exactly is the Trait of High Sensitivity?

Clinical psychologist Elaine Aron, who researched, defined, and wrote about the highly sensitive person, says the clinical word for high sensitivity is “sensory-processing sensitivity”.

Essentially, if you’re a highly sensitive person, you have an especially sensitive neurological system. That’s it. Basically high sensitivity is a function of physiology. It’s how your body is wired.

What a highly sensitive neurological system does is pick up incoming stimuli in greater detail and with greater intensity than the nervous system of someone with lower sensitivity.

This incoming stimuli comes both from outside you and from inside you.

• Outer sources include the environment, various energies, and people around you.
• Inner sources are your own thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.

That’s It?

Well, there is more to the story. The rest of the story covers:

• The benefits and limitations of that physiological makeup.
• How those benefits and limitations play out in your life.
• How you and people at the opposite end of the sensitivity spectrum are entirely alien to each other.

In fact, there’s a whole book of “more”. Elaine Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person, is an excellent primer on this subject. Personally, I find three chapters particularly valuable. In the first two chapters of the book she explains in detail what high sensitivity is all about. In a later chapter she addresses the kind of health issues we tend to have, and our often problematic relationships with the healthcare system and medications.

If after reading this post you still wonder if you’re truly highly sensitive, take Elaine’s insightful highly sensitive person quiz on her website. It’s filled with concrete characteristics associated with high sensitivity and will help you wrap your brain around your uniqueness. She also has a test to help you get a sense of whether your child might be highly sensitive.

The Scope of Sensitivity

The research on sensitivity reveals an entire spectrum of sensitivity – at the one end high sensitivity, at the other those who are “not at all” sensitive.

A significant percentage of people are highly sensitive: about 15-20%. That’s one out of about every 5 to 7 people. Another 20-25% or so are moderately sensitive. At the other end of the spectrum, almost half of the population is not sensitive to some degree.

What’s so interesting to me is that men are as likely to be highly sensitive as women. AND the percentages hold across cultures and throughout the animal kingdom, from mammals down to the tiny fruit fly.

Hm, I Sense a Pattern Here…

We live in a world laced with dissonance, and because of that I don’t believe the widespread presence of a trait is proof that it’s a good, positive thing. But in this case the consistency of the percentages across gender, culture, species, and throughout the entire spectrum of animal life on this planet cause me to suspect that the full spectrum of physiologic sensitivity is an intentional design of the Creator. It seems to me the Creator considers the entire spectrum of sensitivity important in the larger community of life.

But few people on the planet appear to agree with Him.

It seems someone is always marginalizing either the more sensitive or the not so sensitive. Various cultures idealize different levels of sensitivity, and at the same time devalue the opposite. (Yes, surprisingly for us Westerners, some cultures actually idealize the highly sensitive temperament. Who knew?)

What We All (Sort of) Have in Common…

In coming to grips with differing levels in sensitivity, it’s absolutely critical to understand the implications of optimal levels of stimuli. This is where so many misunderstandings arise between people.

The principle is that everyone does best when they are at an optimal level of stimulation. Everyone. We all thrive at an optimal level of stirring, challenging, motivating, engaging stimulation. The consequences of being out of this optimal place are dire.

• When there’s too little stimulation, people sink into an unmotivated sludge of bored immobility.
• When there’s too much, the result is a frazzled and jangled state in which people cease to be effective or pleasant to be around.
• At an optimal level, however, people are capable of being engaged, motivated, and at least relatively pleasant and effective. This is a universal reality.

The complication here is that an optimal level is different for people with different sensitivity needs. It’s highly individualized. And any person will need different levels of stimulation at different times.

What’s important to realize here is there is no level of stimulation best for everyone. What might engage a highly sensitive person may be snoozeville for a less sensitive person. And what is a great time for a not-at-all sensitive person may be unbearable, or even traumatic, for the highly sensitive.

Aliens!

Different sensitivity levels might sound to you like simple, understandable variations between people. But in fact the results are far more dramatic than it might seem.

The sensory-processing differences between people at opposite ends of the sensitivity spectrum create experiences of the world that are so different from each other that they are functionally alien. The realities of those at the one end are virtually unfathomable to those at the other.

People like to believe they are capable of understanding another person’s experience of life, and usually try to do this based upon their own experiences and their imagination. But really, when people are this different, it just doesn’t work.

The Assets of High Sensitivity

Highly sensitive people are equipped to bring exceptional assets to the table. We have the potential to be aware of subtle nuances others are oblivious to. We are wired to be able to see things that tend to be hidden from less sensitive people. We might pick up on little clues others miss. We can be highly intuitive.

We potentially see more shades of meaning than others. We can therefore possibly have deeper and clearer insight into situations, plans, and ideas.

We also have the potential to better understand the implications of any planned strategy, and to foresee consequences of a proposed action. And so we are capable of offering great advice – potentially.

But…

The reason I liberally use the words “might”, “potentially” and such are because these inborn gifts operate well only when we are at a reasonable level of stimulation.

When we are in a state of overwhelm or over-stimulation, we tend not to be aware of anything but the sheer nerve-wracking magnitude of the incoming stimuli. Unfortunately this is a common experience for us.

Being highly sensitive means that, by definition, we are relatively easily overwhelmed by too much noise, too many people, too much time on the go, too much stress, too many demands, and too much of any other stimuli.

And we don’t function particularly well when we are experiencing overload. No one does. We just go there easier than others.

Living in the Asset Zone

When we are not in overload, the world and our personal relationships benefit greatly from the insightful, intuitive, well-considered contributions we highly sensitive people so conscientiously make. Therefore, the key here is to learn how to live in the asset zone.

Highly sensitive people typically try hard to diligently do the right thing. But sometimes we get confused about what the right thing is, especially with the less sensitive world telling us the right thing is to keep up with them.

I propose that one of our highest value priorities is to set our boundaries and sculpt our lives to care for our physical sensitivities. It is just good stewardship to live our lives in such a way that our gifts are free to flow out of us.

But many highly sensitive people don’t feel comfortable doing this, trying instead to get over the bar set by those who cannot begin to comprehend how we experience the world.

And, when we try to measure up by faithfully keeping pace with the lives and expectations of the less sensitive people in our world, all we do is we squander our gifts and hide our light under the proverbial bushel.

The True Gift

People often wonder if being highly sensitive is a Special Gift. My response is, yes, but only if being not-at-all sensitive is also a Special Gift. And every degree of sensitivity in between.

You see, I believe the true gift from God is not one particular flavor of sensitivity, but rather the entirety of the sensitivity spectrum.

It is valuable to understand our own place on the sensitivity spectrum, to make peace with it, and to sow into it. But that is not enough. To actually live out the heart of God here on planet earth, we need to honor the full spectrum of sensitivity.

Anything else – any elistism, any superiority, any lesser valuing of those who are not what we are, any presumption of being more significant or more advanced – falls short of the glory of God.

So come celebrate the full spectrum of sensitivity with me – even if much of the rest of the spectrum still rejects our particular uniqueness.

Forgiving and valuing has to start somewhere. Where better than with us who were created to see deeply and to fathom the finer nuances?

Be blessed.
Gail Ruth

Off the Grid

We all benefit from having someone who can model and mirror back at us at least a glimmer of who we’re created to be and how we might use our gifts.

When we’re fortunate enough to receive this, it gives us a needed sense of “permission” to be in the world. And it can show us how to be authentically ourselves in a healthy, loving way. It’s even helpful in living out our relationship with God.

But for those of us who are highly sensitive, highly emotional, or sensitive-gifted and who feel different from other Christians, this helpful mirroring is a rare thing to find, especially in the church.

The church doesn’t lack for people who want to model for us who we are to be as Christians, but this isn’t always helpful for people like us. The problem is that people who are harmonious with the Christian cultural norm might not be good-fitting models for us. Their practical expressions of the Christian life are not always relevant for us.

For clarity’s sake, I’m not talking here about core virtues the Holy Spirit grows in us like love, humility, gladness, valuing others, peace, patience, faith, integrity, etc.

I’m talking about your gifts and created design and how they function in practical ways:

• what the expression of who you were created to be looks like in the context of your love relationship with God
• what the expression of your gifts looks like in the realm of serving God and others
• and even what the expression of prayer looks like for you.

Given To Be a Blessing

What this means is that if your gifts and created design fall outside what is culturally common in your stream of the church, you might find it difficult to grow into the person God created you to be.

The reality is that many unique and hidden gifts intended to bless the world, fellow believers, and the Creator’s own heart, are often misunderstood and overlooked, leaving them lying dormant.

And so today I want to call for a treasure hunt, looking for the unique hidden gifts and treasures the Creator has woven into the very core each individual. Yes, even you. You might be surprised what you find.

Gifts & Accompanying Weaknesses

One place to start looking is with what we call our weaknesses. It seems to me that every gift, every trait, every strength, has its accompanying weakness.

What do I mean by weakness? I consider weakness to be part of our unique design, countering our gifts and strengths. To be considered a weakness, our failures in that area are defined as undesirable by ourselves, our culture, or by individuals around us.

Some examples might be:

• a nurturant highly sensitive person’s struggles to interact with others in noisy social environments
• a deep thinker’s poor tolerance for dealing with the physical environment
• a helpful extrovert’s dislike of being alone for long
• a dancer’s inability to sit still in meetings
• a seer’s difficulty in praying out loud in words
• a dawdler’s inability to operate in efficiency mode
• a strong, competent person’s obliviousness to subtleties
• a multi-faceted scanner’s failure to dedicate herself to just one thing
• a hardy, not sensitive person’s incomprehension of details
• a tender hearted person’s uncontainable public tears at the most inconvenient times
• a writer’s low appetite for social relationships

Weaknesses As Signposts

All these weaknesses look unacceptable to at least some people, and you will most likely be encouraged to sow your energies into mastering or eradicating your weakness. But I don’t see God calling us to this in scripture. To the contrary. Our Creator seems to value our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

For those of you who are aware of your weaknesses (a.k.a. “defects”), I’d like to suggest that maybe your weaknesses can be signposts that something wonderful lies hidden deep inside. Something no one has ever mirrored back at us.

This is how I see it. Your gifts and weaknesses are a package deal. Everybody’s are. When you look at one end of the package deal, it looks like a gaping hole that needs to be filled and all you see is what’s missing that you believe is supposed to be there. But if you look at the other end, it looks wonderful and rich and useful and lovely.

Choose Your Focus

The bottom line is that you can either pour your energies into the dud end (trying hard to be what you’re not) or into the treasure end (seeking out your treasure and investing it).

I would like to propose that instead of hating our weaknesses and dedicating our lives to self-reformation, we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us on a journey that will awaken, open up, unpack, invest, and mature our dormant gifts.

It’s truly a treasure hunt. What our weaknesses will show us is not predictable. What they do is provide clues that can send us on a search and a journey with the Holy Spirit. And there’s no one who can teach us who we are like the Holy Spirit can.

How ‘Bout We Stir Up Some Dormant Gifts?

I love to help stir up gifts hidden deep inside people. To this end, I’m doing an inspiring series of interviews with individuals who express their love for God in ways for which many churches don’t offer a grid.

My hope is that one of these people might reflect back at you something that’s never made sense in you. Or maybe their example will send you on your own out-of-the-box journey with the Holy Spirit to see what lies under those plaguing weaknesses of yours.

Come Join the Treasure Hunt

The interviews are free to access. You simply need to be on my mailing list and I’ll send you the links to them as they’re posted. You can sign up in the purple form to the right. And you can read about the interviews on my Goodies page.

I invite you to come join our treasure hunt. May you find priceless treasure both in yourself and in the people around you.

Blessings!
Gail Ruth

Have you ever been in a nightmarish situation that needed a resolution really badly and you felt like you were trapped underwater holding your breath, hoping that a breakthrough would come before you drowned? And you felt like something had to shift soon!!! because you just couldn’t hold your breath much longer? But with no relief in sight?

Yeah, me too.

Or maybe you haven’t experienced anything that massively overwhelming, but you know that when you’re dreading a coming situation you brace yourself, take a big breath, and figuratively hold your breath – until the situation is over and you can come up for air and go on with your life.

For example, maybe you’re facing the painful family dynamics you’re going to have to deal with at Christmas. Or maybe you’re facing a season with sadly far fewer family dynamics than you would desire. And you hope you can hold your breath until it’s all over so you can go on with your life. You really hope.

Years ago I entered into a completely untenable situation. It wasn’t bearable. It was awful. I knew that if it didn’t resolve quickly and positively it would certainly have hideous consequences. And yet it went on and on.

I’d been holding my breath running from hope to hope for longer than I could imagine, gulping air when a glimmer of hope for resolution appeared, and holding my breath when the glimmer vanished once again. I desperately pleaded with God for a resolution – an end to this horrible story I was immersed in. It was as if I were foundering in a deep ocean all alone, going down each time as if it were my last.

I know many of you have lived such a story. And some of you are living one now.

An Old Paradigm

I waited in my story like many Christian highly sensitive persons in a tight spot do – desperately, prayerfully, under deep waters, my breath held once more to the drowning point.

Even as I write this, I can sense that other mindset toward God, in which God is an aloof Being whom a person has somehow failed or offended. And now He is inflicting this horrible situation on that person either as deserved punishment or merely for their own good. They beg or plead or wheedle, trying to get through to Him and convince Him to take it away.

Maybe if they’re sorry enough, or can be good enough, or do the right things fervently enough, or pray hard enough, or believe enough, they can wrest the blessed release from this situation out of His hand.

But let me offer an alternate perspective — what the Holy Spirit offered me.

Tune Into The Yummy Good God

First, with your mind’s eye or with your heart, tune into the yummy good God of the Universe who loves you more than you can comprehend.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help; He loves to engineer such connections. If you need to, go back and refresh your memory of how deliciously good our Most High God is.

Remember that connecting with the warm goodness of God is usually an emotional experience for highly sensitive persons. “See” with your mind’s eye, or “feel” with your heart, or “sense” in another way this One who is so thoroughly filled with loving kindness for you. Review some of your favorite portions of the ancient scriptures if it will help you connect with Him, such as the comforting 23rd Psalm.

Next, once you’ve tapped into a connection with this wonderful God, take your desperate plea for a speedy resolution and give it into His care for Him to hold for a bit while you turn your attention to this.

Now Breathe

Now, I know you’re “underwater”, but relax and take a breath.* Yes, go ahead, take a breath. I know you’re immersed in this horrible situation and you’d rather have it resolved right now. But sense your God Who loves you, feel His beautiful Presence, and take a breath.

I can’t explain to you what taking a breath is, but if you feel like you’re holding your breath in some awful situation, with the help of the Holy Spirit you might know what I mean.

I know that relaxing and trying to take that first breath might feel like you’re going to choke and die, but tune into that warm Presence. And work at taking a breath right there, “underwater” and all.

When you can finally take that first breath there “underwater”, it’s an amazing experience. It might even feel like facing death and discovering that you’re still alive.

Now, relax and breathe. In and out. Yes, it’s OK to cry all over Him. But then relax and keep breathing.

Isn’t it amazing that as long as you’re sensing this kind God who loves your heart that you can breathe in this place? It’s different, isn’t it?

What’s Possible

I’ll promise you that as you breathe in this place, sensing your warm, kindly God, you will have the amazing opportunity of experiencing Him as a secure refuge, a powerful helper, and a profound source of comfort and emotional care.

As you breathe underwater, engaged with God and His kindness, it’s just possible that you might come to see God as a partner who desires to lovingly and faithfully walk with you through this Valley of the Shadow of Death you are enduring (Psalm 23:4), caring for you the whole way.

It’s possible that you will experience Him delivering you in the midst of every danger and catastrophe, creating and offering beautiful, unique graces moment by moment just for you, even while you continue under deep waters.

It’s possible that you will eventually understand that all the while He has been faithfully and carefully untangling the snarled situation, no matter how long it takes, even though it seemed nothing was happening at the time.

And it’s possible that someday you and He will walk safely out the other side, arm in arm. “Who is this who is coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?” (Song of Solomon 8:5).

In the Meantime

And in the meantime, I have no easy answers or quick solutions for you. Does “breathing underwater” bring closure to your situation? Probably not. Does it make your situation a good place to be? Not at all. Why doesn’t God just intervene and bail you out RIGHT NOW!? I really don’t know.

But I can tell you that such things are common from the most ancient scriptures. For example, Joseph endured years of slavery and imprisonment, followed by more years governing the country of Egypt before at last being reconciled with his family (Genesis 37-46). The scriptures are filled with such stories of long periods of time spent “underwater” in intolerable situations, followed ultimately by years of blessing and purpose.

One caution. Don’t try this on your own; be sure you are engaged with God who regards you warmly before taking your first breath.

*Please, for those individuals reading this whose brains interpret information literally, do NOT try to breathe under real water. This post is not referring to breathing under real liquid water.

Be blessed this Christmas.

Gail Ruth

In the U.S., the Christmas shopping season officially begins the day after Thanksgiving. But for me, that’s when my shopping season officially ends.

From Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day, I avoid the stores as much as possible. And if I must go shopping, I go late at night or early in the morning. There are several reasons why, and they all have to do with the trait of high sensitivity.

About the Trait of High Sensitivity

In case you’re unfamiliar with the trait of high sensitivity, I’ll give you a bit of an explanation. For one thing, highly sensitive people tend to experience other people’s emotions. It’s a challenging process for many to learn to differentiate their own emotions from the emotions of those around them.

In addition to feeling other people’s emotions, highly sensitive people feel, to varying degrees, spiritual influences in the environment. These are things to which less sensitive people tend to be oblivious (unless they are empowered with the Holy Spirit’s spiritual gifts – I Corinthians 14). Once again, it can be quite the learning curve to distinguish between what is one’s own dynamics and what has its origins in the spiritual environment.

As I’ve watched highly sensitive persons grow into their created design, I’ve noticed that they develop a personal clarity on differentiating their sensing of outside stimuli from their own inner processes. One outcome of this is that they take more care to set helpful boundaries for themselves.

Experiencing the Stores and Malls

So in light of these observations about high sensitivity, lets look at the stores and malls during the five week holiday and Christmas season.

First, during this season there’s a teeming mass of humanity crowded into the stores, many of whom are emoting stress.

Then there’s the sad or idealistic holiday songs playing loudly in the background. For some people, these songs stir feelings of loss or of being left out of everyone else’s holiday cheer. The result is that melancholic and desperate people throughout the stores emote feelings of loss, abandonment, and rejection.

And then there are the highly sensitive people being inflicted by these secondhand stressed, sad, and desperate feelings winging around the store, and responding with their own high-pitched stress. Then factor in the emotions of the abusive self-talk used to push themselves on.

Altogether it’s a bit much.

And That Extra Little . . .

In addition, there’s an invisible and insidious force in the atmosphere of the stores during the holidays. I can feel it from the moment I walk into a store during the holiday season. I’ve mentioned it to other highly sensitive persons who know exactly what I mean.

To us, it’s a force as tangible as the Christmas decorations and as strong as hunger.

I don’t know what it is, but what it does is pull on a person’s soul and makes them hungry to buy stuff they would otherwise never be interested in. Or hungry to buy stuff they want but can’t afford. It’s like it generates an appetite to freely and senselessly celebrate by willy-nilly spending money.

Personally, I hate the feeling of it pulling on me as I try to shop. But people don’t have to be conscious of it to be influenced by it. Over the years I’ve watched as people walk into a store and come under its sway utterly unaware. And I hate watching it as much as feeling it.

Choices and No Thank You’s

If I sound like a Scrooge, I’m really not. I enjoy the holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. But I live this season in a peaceful, low-key, non-hurried manner.

Basically, what I do is buy most of my gifts before the holidays, give myself choices rather than mandates, and say polite variations on “No, thank you” a lot.

A Blessing For You

God bless all you who can cope with shopping during the holidays. And may God have mercy on all of you who can’t cope with it but have to shop anyway. And may God provide bountiful grace for those of you who work retail — may His peace and strength overcome the stresses of the season.

But for those of you who have a choice, this is your “six more shopping days until Christmas” reminder.

Blessings!

Gail Ruth

Back when the Roman government was feeding frightened people to the lions for the entertainment of the masses, the Apostle Paul wrote the following instructions. “Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise-worthy — meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8). The amplified Bible adds the descriptive phrase, “. . . fix your mind on them.”

These words were written to all believers, but I find them particularly important for the highly sensitive person. However, they’re not easy to implement. In fact, we highly sensitive people can find it extra challenging to follow these instructions.

Why It’s Hard

There are at least two reasons why this can be so difficult for us. First, I find that many highly sensitive people are idealists and react strongly to violations of Right. I think idealists carry a faint echo of Eden deep within them. It’s like some subconscious memory of when creation was simply Good, as God designed it to be, before the entrance of The Great Distortion (Genesis 3) that twisted all the world’s systems. With a sense of Rightness so clear in us, whatever is Wrong affects us powerfully.

Add to that the fact that we feel everything deeply, and it quickly becomes clear why we might get stuck focusing on what is wrong rather than on what is right. Pile onto that a somewhat obsessive-style mind, which many highly sensitive people have, and the problem compounds still more.

Beyond the sheer difficulty of focusing on the lovely, there are some seemingly valid arguments against following the Apostle Paul’s instructions. Let’s take a look at them.

Objection #1: Terrible things are happening . . .

. . . (and I need to do something about it, I need to pray, I need to get the word out, etc.)

In this world there is no lack of Wrong or Unjust or Dissonant on which to focus. Never has been. Never will be. There wasn’t back in the Apostle Paul’s day (think Nero for President).

The truth is that effective intercessory prayer does not require a focus on what’s wrong. For more on this concept, I highly recommend Beni Johnson’s heart-changing book The Happy Intercessor. I will be writing about intercessory prayer for the highly sensitive person in the future, but it won’t be redundant to Beni’s teachings. So do read her book and make your heart happy.

Objection #2: It’s immoral to be joyful . . .

. . . (peaceful, happy, etc.) when so many bad things are happening around us.

The fruits of the spirit include joy and peace (Galatians 5:22-23). To live apart from these is to resist the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts and to distance ourselves from the Kingdom of God. The very Kingdom of God is defined by these things. The scriptures say, “For the Kingdom of God is a matter of . . . righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (Romans 14:17).

The truth is that as highly sensitive people, we affect the earth more deeply by living in this lighthearted place of Holy Spirit righteousness, peace, and joy than we ever will by being upset about Wrong. As a very highly sensitive person, I can tell you that whatever emotional substance you carry in your heart wafts out of you and affects the world around you.

Objection #3: People are suffering . . .

. . . (disaster victims, distant starving people, persecuted Christians, etc.) and I need to bear with them.

I’m not talking to selfish, unfeeling people here. I’m talking to highly sensitive people who tend to feel far more than they can bear. Yes, in Romans 12:15 we are encouraged to cry with those who cry and rejoice with those who rejoice (not hard for us emotional sensitives), but those are interpersonal instructions that apply to our relationships.

When we hear about those outside our circle of relationship who are suffering, we are asked to wisely take action: pray (Ephesians 6:18-20), give (Acts 11:29), go (Acts 11:30), all as led by the Spirit.

I can’t think of any time in scripture when we are instructed to feel bad for, be depressed about, or carry the pain of someone else.

The fact is if you start owning someone else’s pain, trauma, or disaster, you cease to be able to manage your own life and call.

Objection #4: I need to be aware . . .

. . . of what’s happening in the world.

I know this is a cherished cultural value, but really, how healthy is this for a highly sensitive person who feels everything deeply? Personally, I have all I can do to stay uncrushed by the difficulties happening in my small realm of relationship and community.

Christians will take this value and spiritualize it and say, “So I can pray.” Over the years I’ve known lots of Christian highly sensitive people who have carried this value, and it’s rarely been harmonious with the Kingdom of God in their lives. On the other hand, I know people God has given this assignment to and equipped for the task — those who start their day with their coffee, newspapers, and prayer. It feels harmonious when they do it and they don’t carry a dissonance or a crushing from it.

I can’t say it enough: follow the Spirit. The Holy Spirit customizes your call especially for you and and gives you the extras you need to fulfill that call. He won’t give you what you need to fulfill someone else’s call. His burden is easy and His yoke is light (Matthew 11:30).

Objection #5: It’s my responsibility as a citizen . . .

. . . to be current on the issues (therefore I have to watch the news, be immersed in politics, etc.)

This is where the diverse gifts and activities of the members of the Body of Christ kick in (I Corinthians 12:4-6). Do you know anyone you respect who is called by God to stay up on current affairs and politics? Who carries it without wear or distress? Who can live in the awareness of it all with peace and without running around screaming, “The sky is falling!!!” Why don’t you just get a briefing from them when it’s time to do something like vote? A wise person will be able to communicate both sides of any argument. Then make your decisions according to your values, and go vote. If you don’t know anyone like that, put the word out among your friends and find someone. They’re out there. They’re probably more common than we are.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that, as a highly sensitive person, you may clearly sense what is Wrong, but you’re not meant to focus your senses, your thinking, or your feeling on those things.

Focusing on Wrong wreaks havoc on your highly sensitive body. It creates dissonant frequencies that are destructive and unpleasant – to your body, your environment, and the people around you. Sooner or later, it will create relationship issues, disease, illness, system malfunction, and premature death.

Highly sensitive people are most often designed to revel in the lightness of God’s Kingdom and to harmonize with unspeakable peace, giddy joy, and a passionate love for God. For most of us, this takes a lot of healing, lifestyle adjustment, and a retooling of our values. All, of course, choreographed by the Holy Spirit.

It’s a journey. It’s hard work and it’s time consuming. But it’s the Kingdom of God. And it leads to really good places in Christ.

Blessings!

Gail Ruth